How to get pregnant: the best time, and how long it can take

How to get pregnant is one of the first things couples search once they decide they're ready, and the advice from relatives, friends and the internet rarely agrees. The good news is that the basics are simple: for most couples, it's about regular sex across the month and a little patience.

It often takes a few months, even for healthy couples. Below you'll find how the fertile window works in plain words, the best time in your cycle, ovulation signs, what helps and what doesn't, a 7-day plan and when to see a doctor.

How does getting pregnant work? The fertile window in plain words

Each cycle, one of the ovaries usually releases an egg. This is ovulation. The egg can be fertilised for only about a day, but sperm can survive inside a woman's body for several days. So sex in the few days before ovulation, or on the day itself, gives the best chance: sperm are already waiting when the egg arrives.

Those days together are called the fertile window. Ovulation usually happens about two weeks before the next period starts, not two weeks after the last one began. That's why the date moves when cycles are shorter, longer or irregular, and why no calendar can pin it down exactly.

What is the best time to get pregnant in your cycle?

The best time to get pregnant is the fertile window, but you don't need to know its exact dates. In a regular cycle of about four weeks, the fertile days often fall around the middle. With a shorter cycle they come earlier, sometimes soon after a period ends; with a longer cycle they come later.

Because the window shifts, the simplest plan, and the one most often advised, is to have sex every two or three days through the whole month. That way sperm are usually there whenever the egg is released, with no counting and no pressure on one 'right' night. Trying every day isn't needed, and it can make sex feel like a chore.

If your periods are irregular, this plan matters even more, since it doesn't rely on guessing the date. Note the first day of each period on a calendar or your phone; the record also helps a doctor if you need one later.

Ovulation signs: how can you tell your fertile days?

Some women notice signs that ovulation is near. They can help, but none is exact, and you don't need them if you're trying every two or three days.

• Discharge from the vagina becomes clearer, wetter, slippery and stretchy, a little like raw egg white, in the days before ovulation.
• Some women feel a mild ache on one side of the lower belly around ovulation. A severe pain, or one that doesn't go away, is different: see a doctor the same day, and go to hospital now if it is severe or you could be pregnant.
• Many women feel more interest in sex around this time.
• Ovulation test strips from a pharmacy check urine for the change that comes just before ovulation. They are optional, and some couples find they add pressure.

How to get pregnant fast: what helps, and what doesn't

There's no trick that makes pregnancy happen faster for everyone, but a few steps give you the best chance each month:

1. 1Have sex every two or three days through the month, not only on the days you think are fertile.
2. 2Note the first day of each period, so you know your usual cycle and notice changes.
3. 3Both of you: stop smoking and all tobacco, including jorda and gul, and avoid alcohol.
4. 4Eat regular, varied meals and walk most days. Being very underweight or very overweight can make it harder to get pregnant, and a doctor can help with a plan.
5. 5If you haven't had a checkup yet, book one for both of you; preparing for pregnancy lists the questions to ask.
6. 6Check with a doctor before taking any medicine, herb or 'fertility' product, whether it comes from a pharmacy, online or a kobiraj.
7. 7Keep sex about closeness, not a test you pass or fail each month. Stress on its own rarely stops a pregnancy, but it can mean you try less often.

Common myths

• Lying with your legs up after sex isn't needed. Resting for a few minutes is fine if you like, but sperm reach where they need to go within minutes.
• No position is better than another for getting pregnant.
• Special foods or remedies don't decide whether a pregnancy happens. Some herbal remedies sold for fertility can be harmful, so ask a doctor first.
• Getting pregnant isn't only about the woman's body. The husband's health counts just as much.

How long can it take to get pregnant?

Knowing how to get pregnant doesn't mean it happens straight away. Many couples get pregnant within a few months of trying, and most within a year. It can take longer as a woman gets older, especially after 35, and for some couples it simply takes time with nothing wrong. A month without a pregnancy is not a sign of a problem.

Health guidance is to see a doctor after 1 year of regular trying, or after 6 months if the woman is 35 or older, and sooner if you already know of a reason. When your period is late, when to take a pregnancy test explains the timing, early signs of pregnancy covers what you may notice, and the due date calculator works out your dates once you know.

Trying for a baby in a Bangladeshi home: privacy, pressure, distance

Trying for a baby is private, but in a joint family or a small shared flat, privacy can be hard to find, and questions from relatives can come every month. Some practical ways through:

• Protect some time as a couple: a door that closes, a quieter hour, an evening out. Closeness matters more than counting dates.
• If the husband works away, in another city or abroad, talk to a doctor about planning his visits; while he's home, aim for every two or three days.
• If you both work, long hours and commutes are tiring. Share the housework, so trying for a baby doesn't become one more job for the wife.
• When a month passes without a pregnancy, the blame often falls on the wife. It shouldn't: the reason can lie with either partner, both or neither, and checkups are for both.
• Families follow their own scholars on religious questions about intimacy and timing; this page covers health.

A 7-day plan for trying for a baby

1. 1Day 1: Write down the first day of your last period, and any earlier dates you remember.
2. 2Day 2: Talk as a couple about the every-two-or-three-days plan, and what would make it feel easy rather than a duty.
3. 3Day 3: Choose one health change together, such as no smoking at home or a daily walk.
4. 4Day 4: List any medicines or remedies either of you takes, to show a doctor.
5. 5Day 5: If you haven't had a checkup, book one for both of you.
6. 6Day 6: Plan one relaxed evening together, with no talk of babies.
7. 7Day 7: Look back: did the plan feel manageable? Keep what worked, and note when your next period is due.

When to see a doctor about getting pregnant

Most couples working out how to get pregnant only need time. See a doctor, or get urgent help, in these situations:

How to get pregnant is mostly a matter of timing, patience and looking after each other. ParentMind is for the years after your baby arrives: it helps you note what happens each day, see patterns and get guidance. See how ParentMind works.